I have been thinking about blogging for the last two weeks, to tell you all what has happened, how life has been, and to describe the things that I have seen right in front of me. But the words haven’t come to me, at least not quick enough. And none of the words in my vocabulary can communicate the picture that I am hoping to create. Now that I have a few minutes to myself to think and write, I will try to describe to you the last two weeks of life with Mister and Misses. (though most of this is about what the Misses saw in the Mister)
About two weeks ago our friends lost their
Iron Will. The phone rang at 3:00 AM and Mister answered it in a half awake voice. I leaned over to hear who was on the other end and I heard crying, then Mister said, “I’ll be right there.” Mister got off the phone and got out of bed and told me that Will had coded, and that he needed to go to the hospital.
The rest of the night was filled with sadness in the dark.
Iron Will is a child that invoked hope and now he is gone.
The rest of that Tuesday Mister was at our home with our
friends. He cared for them in his thoughtful ways, with water, hot tea, breakfast, lunch, dinner, I don’t know everything that he did, but when I came home that day Will’s Father expressed to me how great it was to have Mister with him for the day.
Mister was able to share grace that day with our friends.
Then in the wake of grief, we hurried off to work the next day, and went to the National Student Leadership Forum that night, we had already committed to being there for the next 4 days. This was a huge shift in emotions and energy. We now began to engage with our group of 8 students. This is something I had done before and asked Mister if we could facilitate together this year. Mister entered into a part of my world and did it with flying colors. He engaged the students on issues of life, politics, family, Jesus, truth, service, purpose….everything. I was amazed as I would watch him with each group member and hear him talk about the heart of each of them.
We wrapped up our time with the students at IHOP with time of laughter and fun. Directly from there we went to see Will’s parents; to be with Will’s friends and family that were gathering together to grieve, pray and worship. This was another huge shift that Mister led us through. As I followed Mister into the beautiful backyard filled with Will’s friends, I questioned how this can be. How does life continue when death surrounds. Mister and I had been walking with 8 other people for 4 days that were full of life but always in my mind was the thought of death. Every thought had death as an after taste. But we walked on, into that space that itself was filled with life, green grass, running water, songs of worship, space for prayer.
When we came home that day, Mister started writing the homily for Will’s funeral. He thought and thought, and then thinking seemed to turn to wrestling. He asked God, what is the good news today? What is the gospel when a baby dies? Some are still asking that question. Mister spent the rest of that day and most of the night wrestling with God for words to say, for something to say that would bring the peace of the Holy Spirit over the people of Will.
And he found words to say. Mister
preached that day as a gift from the Lord, but it was a gift for me too, to hear words of comfort come from the mouth of my husband. It was a sad day, but it was full of light.
We continued into the week, taking steps forward in life, with death still around us. We both went to work for the rest of the week and then got on a plane to the cornhusker state. Mister and I went home to celebrate the Old Guy’s 50th birthday. And again we were confronted with life. And again I was amazed by Mister, the way that he steps into the family and chooses to celebrate along with us.
The way that this tapestry has been weaved the last few weeks has been exhausting, but it has been very real as well. Life has been touched by death, and it seems somehow to make it more vibrant and a bit sadder. I hope for vibrant life for Will’s family as they walk into the next day … continuing to live in hope. I hope for vibrant life for the old guy as he walks into a new year. And I am thankful for the vibrant picture I have of my Mister as I think of the ways he has loved.
